We want to live bravely and act decisively. But sometimes there are situations when it seems to us that everything is lost. How not to allow fear to manage in our fate? The stories of those who managed to cope with difficult situations, and expert comments.
So I had an operation. By the way, canopy. I remember the young surgeon clicked with the tongue, looking at the pictures. And although he assured me that he did not see anything complicated, in the end I spent five hours on the operating table. Then three days of resuscitation. Hard rehabilitation – well, and everything that relies in such plots.
But while it is about preparation – short -lived, but very nervous. After all, everything must be done without stopping – here and there consult, take tests, make decisions. I don’t even have time to think if I’m afraid of a surgeon. My loved ones are shaking for me, and I perceive it more like a new adventurous experience.
The day before the hospital I go to the underwear store. Catch-night shirt, two pajamas: light gray and colored, a robe with a hood. I am pleased. The next day is a bathhouse, pool, pedicure. Frivolous? Well, this is at first glance. I just pay off from possible depression. However, I passed the session ahead of schedule, attached a child to my mother, stocked up with books and films. Seriously approached. I did not miss anything. I practically did not leave time for panic. Although the light gray pajama waited about a month.
Nevertheless, I clearly remember how I loved my decision from the first minute. Firstly, the responsibility is happily shifted to a specialist-you will not say that you are a specialist in your health? Well, if you are not a doctor, of course. Secondly-ah, what a surgeon I had! You would see! How to not trust him? He defended my doctorate on me, then at the discharge he showed a film about my inner life.
But even when five different surgeons reflected on what to do with me – to cut or leave it as it is, I was sick with my heart for the first. The thought that my life is burdened with a passing cargo in the form of a slow bomb, plunged me into despondency. The uncertainty was so annoyed that when the choice was made, I collected a grand wound. My family, however, no, no, yes, I got down to a sympathetic tone.
But it did not matter. I was not afraid of the operation. I was surprised at myself. Why?
I thought – what to be afraid?
First: pain. Throw it, with current anesthesia – it’s a shame to even speak. We cross out.
Secondly: something will go wrong. But there are much more chances to “go wrong” without a surgeon than with a surgeon. If you weigh everything before going to bed.
Thirdly … further costs in the form of various restrictions. Well, you were going to work on yourself for a long time – so start tomorrow morning. In the morning tea, in the evening an enema – I dreamed of losing weight?
Excellent arguments, everything recorded? I will also try to keep them in the asset, although it turned out that people in such cases are able to remain calm by no means because of personal courage or rare prudence.
Psychologist Alexander Kolmanovsky is confident that the measure of our fear depends on the general level of anxiety. The more tense a person in life, the stronger he has fear (in particular, the fear of physical pain and death). That is, by controlling the level of anxiety, you can achieve a well -known mental equilibrium.
Sergey Dovlatov to the call “Not nervous!”Answered -” You still say: become a blonde!»Indeed, to calm the excitement is one of the most difficult mental tasks. It should be borne in mind that the background level of our anxiety is closely connected with our personal social positiveness: the more actively a person cooperates with society as a donor (in a broad sense), the more stable his psyche works and more independently. In other words, giving, we feel more confident. At first glance, a non -obvious dependence has developed at the stage of survival of a biological species. The principle is simple: the individual, not burdened with any responsibilities, eventually became a burden for a pack and was obstructed. If you want to feel calm-do something for relatives.
The surgeons themselves, by the way, admit that the risk associated with surgical intervention quite justifies the patient’s fears
Surgeon Irina Kotova believes that the fear of surgery grows on absolutely real soil (unlike many other fears generated exclusively by fantasies). Suspicion in this position causes indifference rather. But strong fear is not just associated with violations of our borders – in this case, bodily. The fact is that these violations can lead to irreversible changes – bad or good, we do not really know. The main thing is our fear of changing what is, what you are used to, – the way of life, the coordinate system, appearance, even poor health – it can also be perceived as a norm, which is difficult to abandon
Panic fear is an extremely traumatic state of mind that is incompatible with the assigned occasion (to the doctor). Therefore, it is so important to get rid of fear, both doctors and psychologists believe.
In the opinion of Alexander Kolmanovsky, to cope with this kind of anxiety, a simple way helps: to present another person in this state, for example, his child. An attempt to reduce his fears helps to control his own. He is afraid – and you are trying to console him, talk. After all, our “pros” and “against” stand on the same shelf in our imaginary library. So if you set yourself the task of “calm”, then the necessary arguments and positive resources will be found without difficulty.